What Really Happened After Final Fantasy VII?
by Dark-Plague2863
Summary: The next UberVillian Hellbent on Destroying the World attacks! Will AVALANCHE be ready! Or will they all get their scrawny asses handed to them! ONESHOT


Authors Pre-Story Rant: Final Fantasy VII is actually one of my favorite games. I just made this story to poke fun at some of the continuation fics I read across the web. C'mon people! You can do better!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the keyboard in front of me, and the right to make fun of stuff.

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"So! Shall I just pick you off one by one? Or wipe you all out at once!" He shrieked in an obviously evil-minded voice. The battle against AVALANCHE (Which will be capitalized from this point on for some reason, even though it's obviously not an acronym) was about to begin. Everything would finally be decided here. "Come now! Let's get started!"

AVALANCHE began its attack with the ominous roar of it's stereotypically spiky haired leader, "IT'S OVER, YOU FIEND!"

Cloud charged his opponent, unsheathing the Ultima (OMG! It isn't actually called the "Ultimate Weapon" people!) Weapon and for some reason using one of his most useless Limit Breaks in Blade Beam.

The attack surged from Cloud's blade, and made contact with it's intended target, sending him back into a conveniently placed wall. However, this would not be enough! "Fool! Do you honestly think that would be enough!" Yes, Mr. Bad Guy, he did.

Mr. Bad Man was obviously not amused by this pathetic attempt at destroying him, "I'll tear you to shreds, Strife! **Chaotic-Hellspawn-Doomsday-Beam!**"

The attack caught Cloud of guard, and he was limited to trying to block the onslaught with his massive blade. This is of course going to prove fruitless.. As that would end the story in under 500 Words! "AGGGGGH!" Was the only thing heard from Cloud as the blast sent him and his sword careening into the distance, obviously either very, very hurt (the more likely), or dead (Feh, that never happens! It's Cloud!).

Now watching one of your dear friends and comrades being blown half a world away most certainly isn't the most endearing thing for someone to witness, as held testament to by said witnesses. "Cloud!" Aerith and Tifa (The former at some point being revived for the sake of making this story both less original and enjoyable) screamed before turning their attention to their adversary. "You'll pay for this!" Aerith shouted at the top of her lungs, before charging at the foe.

At some point in her blind charge, Aerith appeared to have realized she would be attempting to fight off someone with a large, metal, stick. That one thought stopped her dead in her tracks.

At some point during her blind halting, the enemy appeared to have realized that Aerith is too Mary-Sueish and pointless of a character to be allowed to stay in the story and longer. His one attack stopped her dead in her… dead..ness.. Earning yet another irritating screech from Tifa.

"SCREECH!" Screeched Tifa, before too realizing that her physical weaponry (Or lack thereof in this particular scenario), was essentially useless. This prompted the first smart move of the campaign, the use of magic. "Ultima!" Tifa yelled, obviously not realizing that she didn't need to give her enemy a 'heads up' of what she was attacking with him before doing it.

Now knowing what she was doing, the intended target of the attack (Who from now on we shall be calling Bubbles, since I've run out of synonyms for "enemy") simply cast reflect on himself, and took a quick break to straighten out his trench coat. Tifa, having failed to realize something so frivolous would work, was now SKA-RUUWED.

Barrett watched his longtime fellow AVALANCHE comrade slowly being swallowed alive by her own Ultima attack, and pointed his arm in a mindless rage at Bubbles, "YOU MOTHER FUCKING MOTHER FUCKER! DIE BITCH!"

Bubbles stood his ground, taking every single one of Barrett's bullets from his Angermax attack right in the chest. "You fool! Think back on how many times you've been shot by Shin-Ra soldiers and lived! Did you honestly think it'd work on ME!"

Barrett didn't even have time to mouth the word "Shit" before he too was eradicated into nothingness. "That's 4 down.. 4 to go!" Bubbles cackled manically to himself before taking a potshot at Cait Sith, quickly disposing of the stuffed… thing.

---Somewhere in Midgar---

"Whoa, something actually attacked the stupid thing." Reeve quipped to a smirking Reno and Rude standing by his side watching the computer screen.

"As much as we should have relevance in this story, we won't, for the simple ideal of not getting our asses handed to us." Reno and Rude both remarked at one to the reader.

---Back in wherever AVALANCHE is fighting Bubbles---

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Bubbles Haha-ed, "NONE OF THESE FOOLS STAND A CHANCE AGAINST ME!"

A brief animalistic chuckle could be heard from somewhere behind him, and Bubbles grinned, "So Red! You will be the next to d-"

The cutoff from Bubbles speech would be caused by the red spherical materia that the strange ninja girl he recalled being named Yuffie was rolling around in her hands, not really interested by the enemy standing in front of her.

"Now." Cid off-handedly remarked, which was quickly responded to by a quick, "Sounds good to me, Old Guy!" from Yuffie.

Bubbles could only stare in horror, and let out a brief, "Oh shit…" before the materia began to glow, and he was sucked into a void below him. While inside the void, he methodically had his ass handed to him by knights with weapons about 3 times the size of Diamond fuckin' Weapon, and that was that.

Vincent watched as the void in front of them spit out a couple of broken up pieces of bone, and vanish completely, before he started to walk away, "Why was I even here?"

Yuffie chuckled and took the box of materia that Red XIII carried on his back, "I know why I was!"

Cid just lit up a cigarette and walked back to his new airship, "I'm only here to give you numbskulls a damned ride."

Red XIII just shrugged his front legs and walked onboard, "I'm just here because I'm smarted than everyone else in this freaking squad, and realized that we still had that summon materia."

The remaining party all laughed, and partied, and flew off into the horizon, happily ever after.

**THE EN**- "THAT'S IT, YOU FIEND! **OMNISLASH!**"

After about the 7th or 8th hack Cloud made at the ground below him, he began to suspect something odd about the situation before him. "Wait a minute.. No more bad guy." Realizing that, made him realize one more thing, "Well! Guess we're done here!" And what do you know! Three thoughts in one paragraph! "…Um.. Hello? Anyone? ………… I'm stuck in the middle of fucking nowhere, aren't I.."

**THE END**

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End Story PartingRemarks: Ahh... Gotta love late night boredom. And on a side note, I don't really hate any of the characters in this game except for Cait Sith. He's just so... pointless!

And that if Cloud wasn't so damned useful (And unable to be taken out of your damn party), he would be replaced by Vincent; giving me a party of Cid, Yuffie, and Vincent. Man.. that'd rock so hard.


End file.
